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Ten ways to realize your Internet connection is a little slow
    
    Text on Web pages display as Morse Code and...
    Graphics arrive via FedEx.
    You believe a heavier string might improve your throughput
    You post a message to your favorite Newsgroup and it displays a week later.
    Your credit card expires while ordering on-line.
    Playboy web site exhibits "Playmate of the year"...for 1989.
    You`re still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "Ping Pong".
    Everyone you talk to on the `net phone` sounds like Forrest Gump.
    You receive e-mails with stamps on them.
    You click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.
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