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Identifying wasted time
    TO: ALL PERSONNEL
    FROM: ACCOUNTING
    
    It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.
    
    Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.
    
    The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.
    
    Thank you,
    Accounting
    
    Attached: Extended Job-Code List
    Code and Explanation
    5316 Useless Meeting
    
    5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
    
    5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
    
    5319 Waiting for Break
    
    5320 Waiting for Lunch
    
    5321 Waiting for End of Day
    
    5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
    
    5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
    
    5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
    
    5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
    
    5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
    
    5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
    
    5481 Buying Snack
    
    5482 Eating Snack
    
    5500 Filling Out Timesheet
    
    5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries
    
    5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
    
    5503 Scratching Yourself
    
    5504 Sleeping
    
    5510 Feeling Bored
    
    5511 Feeling Horny
    
    5600 Complaining About Lousy Job
    
    5601 Complaining About Low Pay
    
    5602 Complaining About Long Hours
    
    5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
    
    5604 Complaining About Boss
    
    5605 Complaining About Personal Problems
    
    5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
    
    5701 Not Actually Present At Job
    
    5702 Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
    
    6102 Ordering Out
    
    6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
    
    6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
    
    6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
    
    6201 Stealing Company Goods
    
    6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
    
    6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
    
    6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
    
    6205 Hiding from Boss
    
    6206 Gossip
    
    6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
    
    6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself
    
    6211 Updating Resume
    
    6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
    
    6213 Out of Office on Interview
    
    6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
    
    6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
    
    6223 Pretending You Like Coworker
    
    6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
    
    6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
    
    6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
    
    6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
    
    6602 Complaining
    
    6603 Writing a Book on Company Time
    
    6611 Staring Into Space
    
    6612 Staring At Computer Screen
    
    6615 Transcendental Meditation
    
    7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
    
    7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
    
    7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone
    
    7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone
    
    7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone
    
    7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone
    
    7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone
    
    7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
    
    7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
    
    7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
    
    7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
    
    8000 Recreational Drug Use
    
    8001 Non-recreational Drug Use
    
    8002 Liquid Lunch
    
    8100 Reading e-mail
    
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