Annoy people:
    
    Page yourself over the intercom. (Don`t disguise your voice)
    
    Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
    
    Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender)
    
    In the memo field of your paychecks, write "For Sexual Favors".
    
    Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten off their caffine addictions, switch to espresso.
    
    Send e-mail to the rest of your company to tell them what you are doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I`ll be in the bathroom."
    
    Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
    
    Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
    
    Suggest that the Coke machine is filled with beer.
    
    Encourage your colleagues to join in a little synchronized chair dancing.
    
    Determine how many cups of coffee are "to many".
    
    Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
    
    When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your cars windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep `em tuned up.
    
    Reply to everything someone says with, "That`s what you think."
    
    Practice making fax and modem noises.
    
    Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.
    
    Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
    
    Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
    
    Dont use any punctuation
    
    As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
    
    Ask people what sex they are.
    
    While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
    
    At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
    
    Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
    
    Sing along at the opera.
    
    While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
    
    For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.
    
    TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
    
    Five days in advance, tell your friends you can`t attend their party because you`re not in the mood.
    
    Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don`t rhyme.
    
    Leave the copy machine set to reduce 150%, dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
    
    Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
    
    If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.
    
    Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
    
    Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
    
    Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.
    
    Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
    
    Staple papers in the middle of the page.
    
    Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
    
    Honk and wave to strangers.
    
    Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
    
    Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets
    
    Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin.
    
    When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
    
    Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
    
    Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
    
    Speak only in a "robot" voice.
    
    Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
    
    Sniffle incessantly.
    
    Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
    
    Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for violating your airspace."
    
    Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
    
    Tell a joke teller the punchline of a joke, just before they say it.
    
    Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
    
    Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
    
    Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
    
    Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that youll be saying more any moment.
    
    Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
    
    Drum on every available surface.
    
    Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
    
    Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
    
    Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
    
    Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
    
    Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
    
    Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
    
    Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
    
    Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
    
    Pay for your dinner with pennies.
    
    Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
    
    Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
    
    Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someones roadmaps.
    
    Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
    
    At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
    
    Stand over someones shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
    
    Pretend your computers mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
    
    Pretend your pet mouse is a CB radio and talk to it.
    
    Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
    
    Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you dont want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
    
    Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
    
    Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
    
    Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim its a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
    
    Chew on pens that you`ve borrowed.
    
    Wear a LOT of cologne.
    
    Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
    
    Mow your lawn with scissors.
    
    At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
    
    Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
    
    Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
    
    Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
    
    Never make eye contact.
    
    Never break eye contact.
    
    Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
    
    Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
    
    Make appointments for the 31st of September.
    
    Invite lots of people to other peoples parties.
    
    Demand to be called "Arch Duke".
    
    Finish the "99 bottles of beer" song.
    
    Sculpt hedges into erotic shapes.
    
    Have a picnic in a road.
    
    Tell people walking down one way streets that they are going the wrong way.
    
    Put "Call Waiting" on a person`s data line.
    
    Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
    "Do you hear that?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it`s gone now."
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