The Manager
    YMCA Hotel
    London
    
    
    Dear Signore Direttoer.
    
    Now I am`a - tella you story how i wa a`-treated at your hotella. I am a`-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a younga Christian man at your hotella.
    When I comma in my room I see There is no shit in my bed - How can I sleep with no shit in my bed?
    So I calla down to receptione an tella: "I wanta shit." They tella me: "Go to toilet"
    I say "No No I wanta shit in my bed." They say "You`d better not sh it in your bed, you sonna wa bitch. What is sonna wa bitch?
    I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and to pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast.
    I tella waitress and pointa at toast "I wanta piss"
    She tella me "Go to toilet" I say NO NO I wanta piss on my plate. She then say to me "You`d bloody well not piss on the plate, You sonna wa bitch. Second person who do not even know me calla me sonna wa bitch. Later I go for dinner in your ristor ante.
    Spoon and Knife is laid out but no fock. I tella waitress "I wanna fuck" and she tella me "Sure everyone wanta fuck"
    I tella her No No you don`t unterstand me. I wanta fuck on the table. She tella me: "So you sonna wa bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here.
    So I go to receptione and ask for bill, I no wanta stay in this hotel any more. When I have paid the bila the portier say to me "Thank you, and peace on you"
    I say "Piss on you too, you sonna wa bitch. I go back to Italy "Inever more gonna stay your hotel no more, you sonna wa bitch.
    
    Sincerely
    Enrico Morelli
    Roma
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