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Happily Addicted to the Web
    
    (sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
    
    Doorbell rings, I`m not list`nin`,
    From my mouth, drool is glist`nin`,
    I`m happy--although
    My boss let me go--
    Happily addicted to the Web.
    
    All night long, I sit clicking,
    Unaware time is ticking,
    There`s beard on my cheek,
    Same clothes for a week,
    Happily addicted to the Web.
    
    Friends come by; they shake me,
    Saying, "Yo, man!
    Don`t you know tonight`s the senior prom?"
    With a listless shrug, I mutter
    "No, man; I just discovered
    letterman-dot-com!"
    
    I don`t phone, don`t send faxes,
    Don`t go out, don`t pay taxes,
    Who cares if someday
    They drag me away?
    I`m happily addicted to the Web!

    
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