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Chernenko is dying. At the last moment, the spirit of Brezhnev appears in front of him and says:
    - Your term on earth has expired. You`ll be transfered to another world soon. One thing I`d recommend to you though: take a spoon and fork with you.
    - Is there a shortage of such things in that world? - asks Chernenko.
    - No, no, - said Brezhnev. Normally not. However, when Hitler takes charge of the cafeteria there, he`ll no doubt remove all utensils and force everyone to eat with a sickle and hammer
    
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Brezhnev complains to Gromiko that he can`t get used to summer and winter time changes.
    - It`s simple, -replies Gromiko, - just move the hands on your clock one hour ahead in spring, and then move them one hour back in autumn.
    - Well, - says Breznev, - that sounds really simple. Nevertheless, when I sent a telegram of my condolences to Egypt regarding Anwar Sadat`s assasination last summer, it arrived one hour before his death.
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Brezhnev asks the Pope
    - Why do people believe in your paradise in heaven, but refuse to believe in the communist paradise?
    - That`s because we never show ours, says the Pope.
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