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One night, Erich Honnecker was in the bedchamber having some pillow talk with his mistress. He was in a magnanimous mood and offered her a present of her choice. She thought about his offer for a moment and then replied, "Oh, Erich, if there is one thing I would like you to do for me, it is this: open the borders just for one day." Honnecker said, "Of course, my dear," but was a bit puzzled by her request. He asked, "But why would you have me do such a thing?" The mistress replied, "I want to be alone with you."
    
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Three Russian prison inmates were locked in the same cell; they soon began talking.
    "What are you here for?" asked one inmate another.
    "They put me in for beating up some old Jew named Khaimovich," snarled one man.
    "And why are you here?" asked the second of the first.
    "For having defended some old Jew named Khaimovich in a fight," he replied.
    "And what were you arrested for?" the third inmate was asked.
    "For being Khaimovich," he sighed.
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A genie appeared to Vaclav Havel, the Czech President: I`ll grant you three wishes, Lord. What is your first one?
    VH: I want the Chinese to attack the Czech Republic.
    And what is your second one?
    VH: I want the Chinese to attack the Czech Republic.
    How about the third one?
    VH: I want the Chinese to attack the Czech Republic.
    "Now why do you want the Chinese attacking your country three times", genie asked.
    VH:Then they would march over Russia six times!
    
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