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A young member of the German communist party went to his senior comrade with a strange request: he wanted permission from the Party to emigrate to West Germany. (It is only with the permission of the Party that people are allowed to leave East Germany. Often it is "granted`` as a method of eliminating people with inappropriate attitudes.)
    "For what reasons could you possibly want to leave the Socialist paradise, young comrade?"
    "Well, sir, I have a main reason, and a kind of side reason. The side reason is this: I know our Party has established a paradise here in the Democratic Republic, but the reason I want to leave is that I am very afraid that it will not last."
    "Don`t worry, son! It will last for ever."
    "Well, good, sir: but that brings me to my main reason...."
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sent by: Ahmed Fathi
    Karl Marx
    At the Doomsday, Karl Marx, the founder of Marxism, was taken directly to hell! After a week or so, God heard loud noise coming from the hell. He asked his private angel to go check the situation over there.
    The angel came back to God and told him that Marx convinced all people in the hell that they are equal to those in the heaven. The angel added that people in the hell are on strike and they seemed to plan for a revolution.
    God ordered that He doesn`t need any problems over here. He ordered the angel to go take Marx from hell to heaven. The Hell guardian angel was surprised. But anyway, Marx is now in the heaven.
    A month passed without any noise or conflicts in the heaven. The Hell guardian felt so curious and went to the Heaven guardian and asked him how Marx was behaving. The Heaven guardian replied that Marx is a very cute, calm and friendly man, he is only eating fruits, drinking all alcoholic stuff they have in the heaven, and fucking women. The following dialogue took place between the Hell and Heaven guardians:
    Hell guardian: "Are you sure he is that good and he doesn`t make any troubles?"
    Heaven guardian: "Sure, I`m positive"
    Hell guardian: "Never did he at least try to convince people to strike?"
    Heaven guardian: "Never, he is so peaceful"
    Hell guardian: "I can`t believe it. You SWEAR BY GOD he is that good?"
    Heaven guardian: "GOD? Hmmm, WHO IS `GOD`?"!!!
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When President Putin met George W Bush earlier this week, Bush asked Putin "Who`s this week`s MARTYR in Russia?"
    "That depends", said Putin, "on what MY MATE Schroder and YOUR MATE Ernst of Hesse want!"
     "Whoever it is", said Bush, "I have no doubt he will soon find that life can be bit of a BUGAR!"
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