'Humour' at RIN.RU - enormous amount of various jokes, comic verses, stories, pictures, photos subscription send a joke or your story send a picture Russian information Network Russian version
 
Surprise!
 
Jokes
computer
drinking
love, sex, marriage
kids
work
lawyers
miscellaneous
 
Long jokes
 
Russian humour
politics
drinking
family life
"new russians (NR)"
miscellaneous
 
Kids' quotes
 
School quotes
 
Simpsons' quotes
 
Funny Zodiac
 
Celebrity jokes
 
Bumper stickers
 
Pickup lines
 
Funny poetry
 
Funny tests
 
Murphy's Law
commerce
computer and tech
love
miscellaneous
 
Strange Laws
commerce
food and drink
sex, marriage
animals
miscellaneous
 
Christmas Humor
short jokes
long jokes
songs and verses
 
Funny stories
 
Your stories
 
Humorous literature
 
funny pictures
celebrity pics
funny photos
adult pictures
      
Funny tests
Sort by: date : rating

Are You Ready for Children?
    
    Are you considering having children? To determine whether you are truly prepared for the experience, we suggest you take this set of simple tests...
    
    MESS TEST:
    Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
    
    TOY TEST:
    Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).
    
    GROCERY STORE TEST:
    Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
    
    DRESSING TEST:
    Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.
    
    FEEDING TEST:
    Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
    
    NIGHT TEST:
    Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.
    
    PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN)
    Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.
    
    PHYSICAL TEST (MEN):
    Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
    
    FINAL ASSIGNMENT:
    Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child`s table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
    
    
    
458 rating: 55  *  to discuss in forum  to discuss in chat


Check what you like mostly (may be several) and press "vote" button.
On page: 


Do you like Russian sense of humour? If so, go on in your study! Find out everything about Russia and its people using the best source of knowledge - RUSSIA THE GREAT project!
Copyright © RIN 2001-
* Feedback