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Joke
     "Marge, I`m goin` to Moe`s. Send the kids to the neighbours. I`m comin` back loaded."

I won`t lie to you, fatherhood isn`t easy like motherhood.

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can`t speak English.

"If something`s hard to do, then it`s not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short wave radio, your karate outfit, and your unicycle and we`ll go inside and watch TV."

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

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