sent by: Anastasia
    When You`re Having A Bad Day Now get this......
    I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
    Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn`t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin`s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.
    When the same person once more answered, I yelled "YOU`RE A JERK!" And hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jerk," and put it in my desk drawer.
    Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I`d call him up. He`d answer, and then I`d yell, "YOU`RE A JERK!" It would always cheer me up.
    Later in the year, the phone company introduced Caller Id. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jerk. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello?"
    I made up a name. "Hi. This is Herman with the telephone company and I`m just calling to see if you`re familiar with our Caller Id Program?" He went, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That`s because you`re a jerk!"
    And the reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there`s ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 555-4822. But wait there`s more....
    The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn`t think she was ever going to leave. Finally her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the Space. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she`s finally leaving. All of a sudden, this black Camaro came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can`t just do that, buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn`t even hear me. I thought to myself, `This guy`s a jerk, there`s sure a lot of jerks in this world.`
    I noticed he had a for sale sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
    A couple of days later, I`m at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 555-4822 and yelling, "YOU`RE A JERK!" (It`s really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial). I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I`d better call this guy too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?" "Yes it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It`s a yellow house and the car`s parked right out front." I said, "What`s your name?" "My name is Don Hansen." "When`s a good time to catch you, Don?" "I`m home in the evenings." "Listen Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes." "Don, you`re a jerk!"
    And I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Don Hansen`s number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jerks to call.
    Then after several months of calling the jerks and hanging up on them, the whole thing started to seem like an obligation. It just wasn`t as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution.
    First, I had my phone dial Jerk #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello." I yelled "YOU`RE A JERK!" But I didn`t hang up. The jerk said, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah.." He said, "Stop calling me." I said, "No." He said, "What`s your name, Pal?" I said, "Don Hansen." "Where do you live?" "1802 West 34th Street. It`s a yellow house and my black Camaro`s parked out front." "I`m coming over right now, Don. You`d better start saying your prayers." "Yeah, like I`m really scared, Jerk!" And I hung up.
    Then I called Jerk #2. He answered, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, Jerk!" He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You`ll what?" "I`ll kick your butt." "Well, here`s your chance. I`m coming over right now, Jerk!" And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them a big gang fight was going down at 1802 West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. I turned onto 34th Street and parked my car under the shade of a tree half a block from Jerk #2`s house.
    There were two guys fighting out front. Suddenly there were about 12 police cars and a helicopter. The police wrestled the two men to the ground and took them away. A couple of months go by and I get a call for Jury Duty. I was picked to be on a trial of two guys charged with Disorderly Conduct.
    As luck would have it, it happened to be the same two guys. I might have influenced the Jury, because when they announced the verdict, they said, "We the Jury, find the Defendants, Guilty as Charged, and a couple of Jerks"
    
597 rating: 55  *  to discuss in forum  to discuss in chat